Friday 24 October 2014

Hope in Dark Times

Wednesdays are always a hectic day, wonderful, but hectic with prayer, worship and study groups. Yesterday was busier than average with a lunch meeting as well, so I hadn't looked at Facebook or Twitter, to turned on the TV or read the latest news on the internet. It was not until late in the afternoon, when everything was setup and ready for the evening study group that I opened Facebook for the first time.

Shock, the only word to describe what I felt as I read post after post about the events in Ottawa, and being reminded of what happened in Quebec on Monday. This is Canada, things like this don't happen here. We pride ourselves on being a safe country in general. We don't carry guns unless we are hunting, and violent incidents are rare enough to warrant extra media attention. Before I knew it I was watching the live CBC feed, baffled by the heinous nature of the attack, numbed by it all.

Like many Canadians I expect, as the initial shock began to ebb away others emotions quickly took its place, sadness at the death, but also the loss of innocence for all of us and anger at "those people" who would perpetrate such an act and who would rob us of our sense of security. I was struck as well with an overwhelming feeling of despair and helplessness. Those same emotions and thoughts were shared by others as we gathered that evening, putting aside our planned study to share reactions and to ask the questions on our hearts and minds.

The questions that we kept coming back to were what does this mean for us as Christians and how are being called by God to respond. Fear is a healthy natural reaction, but it can be paralyzing especially in the face of events of this magnitude. It would be easy to become paranoid of everyone and everything around us, possibly leading to isolation and disconnecting from relationships.  We agreed we need to know how to balance a healthy level of fear that keeps us aware of our surroundings and trusting others and God.

Prayer was another common them, so simple and yet one of the ways we can counter the fear and mistrust that runs rampant. To pray for wisdom for leaders about how to balance the safety and security with rights and privacy. To pray for understanding and compassion between peoples who hold very different beliefs, leading to bridging relationships rather than further entrenchments of us and them. Most importantly I think, to pray for hope for those who have lost hope and I see more and more of that these days. I think of the marginalized who are so often ignored and made to feel invisible.  When a cause comes along that would bring them attention they maybe quick to jump on board, even when that attention involves violent or aggressive acts. Hopelessness can have devastating consequences for not just the person feeling hopeless, but for all.

As Christians we called to be people of hope, people who believe and act toward the redemption of the world by God through Jesus. So what would it look like live out that hope? We are called to be people of light, sharing the light of Christ in and through our lives. So what would it look like to be beacons of hope, to be light for those in the darkness of despair and marginalization?

Wednesday morning, without knowing that a gunman had shattered the Canadian sense of peace and security, it was hope that was at the center of our discussion in communion and in the bible study that followed. Recalling Moses standing on the edge of the promise land with hope for the generation who would enter it, even though he himself would not. He knew that they would face challenges, he knew they would falter and fail at times, but he spoke words of hope and blessing over them. I believe that that is part of what we are being called to do. To not just speak words of hope or a pray for hope, but become beacons of hope for those who are hopeless, who are marginalized and grasp onto the wrong ideas and values. In particular  the next generation of who hear constantly how the world will never be as good as it was when their parents were their age, who will never be able to have what their parents had. While that may not be true it is the message I hear from those working with youth and young adults. So how can we as Christian men and women become agents of hope? How can we not only pray but actively work to bring hope to those who feel hopeless?

I don't have any quick answers, but it begins with recognizing and claiming our hope in Jesus. We also need to be more aware of those around us who are facing situations that can feel hopeless, even desperate. To follow Jesus' example of seeking out and ministering to the marginalized. This can be challenging when it takes time, resources and attention away from those things we hold dear. There are no easy answers.

May the hope that you have well up in you, and spill over in your life, overcoming the fear and darkness created in the last few days and may you become the beacons of hope, that this world desperately needs right now.  May you shine with the light of Jesus, a light no darkness can extinguish.
   


Monday 7 July 2014

Christian Leadership lessons from a fishing boat

It was a day of firsts for me, firsts connected to my husband’s boat, otherwise known in our house as “the other woman”. She has been a part of our lives from the beginning. When I started dating my husband he had just bought a new to him 21 foot Bass boat with a 225 horsepower outboard motor on the back. In the four years since he has spent countless hours working on it, from necessary repairs to upgrades, doing as much of the work himself as possible.


The boat and trailer 
In the Christian life there are a lot of firsts. As followers of Jesus we are constantly being called to new forms of ministry, whether they are new to us as we grow in faith and step into existing ministries or it is a new ministry that we are part of starting. It can be very scary to try something new, fearful of failure or letting others down, fearful of what could happen. My firsts that day caused me to reflect on the necessary conditions for firsts in the life of Church and my role as a leader in nurturing those conditions.  
 
The boat lives most of its life on a trailer, so as to be launched on different lakes and bodies of water. Launching is much easier with two people, so early in our dating I learned some basics of launching and loading the boat. He would position the boat on the ramp so that once he is in the boat I can simply back it in a few feet so the boat slides off the trailer, and again he positions the trailer when pulling the boat out. I have gradually learned to drive forward in a straight line or around one gentle corner so as to move the trailer out of the way of others wanting to launch.


Being the first real weekend of the summer, the ramp was particularly busy that day with boats and trailers lined up to launch and pull out of the water. I had jokingly said I might try parking the truck and trailer if I could find a spot to pull straight into, but quickly retracted that, fearful about driving it too far and around too many bends. As I pulled forward I had to maneuver around another trailer that had pulled up beside me. It was rather scary, but once I cleared it I had new courage, so instead of stopping and getting out to switch places so he could park it, I kept going, past the place I usually stop to the stop sign and out onto the road and parked it on the grass beside of the road. I was so proud of myself! I had actually driven the truck and trailer around 3 bends and parked it. When I arrived back at the dock my husband realizing what I had done, congratulated me with a high-five.  


Later in day was another first. Like driving the truck and trailer, I have been reluctant to drive his boat. I grew up on the water, but I never learned to drive the family boat. Occasionally I would drive slow in the middle of the lake, but that was all. I have my Pleasure Craft Operators Card as required by law (mostly because my husband bribed me with an auto inflating life vest), but I stick to firstmate duties of ropes and bumpers when we dock, or dry land duties.  

Perhaps it was my earlier excitement, when later we were in the slow speed part of a channel my husband offered me the chance to take the wheel. We traded seats and he coached me in putting the boat into gear. Driving a boat is different from driving a car as it is slower to react, leading to over corrections. This particular channel is not straight either, but a dredged path through a stump field, making it essential to stay close to the path which is only marked by buoys about every 500 meters or more. It probably took me longer and with constant course correction, but I made it. I drove the boat the few kilometers out of the channel.


While these firsts were very exciting in themselves, they also started me thinking. My reluctance to drive either the truck with trailer or the boat stems in part from knowing how precious they are to my husband. I didn’t want to wreck either of them. I was only able to do these things because of his trust in me. He trusted me to treat them with respect, to drive them responsibly. He conveyed his trust, by encouraging me with positive responses when I expressed an interest in driving, by offering positive comments when I did take those baby steps like pulling further forward, and by the invitation to try. It would have turned out differently if he had not trusted me, if he had been negative in his comments, focused on all things that could go wrong, or not invited me to try.

In the church we as leaders can sometimes hold onto leadership, onto ministries and projects very tightly because we believe either no one else can do it, or if they do, they will do something that will cause them to fail. In so doing we tell them we don’t trust them, that ministry is too precious for just anyone to do it. One of the primary responsibilities I believe we have is to encourage people to take on responsibility for ministries and projects. Just as my husband’s trust and encouragement was essential for me to drive the truck and trailer and the boat, so is my encouragement of others as they try out a new ministry for them, or are part of starting a new ministry or project on behalf of the church. Will some of the things we do not work? Likely. If we are truly willing to step out in faith by doing something new and different, there will be moments of learning along the way, of necessary course correction. It is said that great inventors don’t fail - they just learn ways not to do it. The same is true of our ministry, we learn as much about what not to do as what to do.

If we look at Jesus’ ministry, especially among the disciples, we see that he was encouraging toward them. He invited them, after having seen and heard him, to try for themselves. He sends them out on a test mission (Mark 6, Matthew 10, and Luke 10), sending them to the towns and villages he intended to go. But he doesn’t just send them, he listens to them when they return, and he shares in their excitement at what they had experienced. We know that they still had learning to do. Even after Jesus rose and commissioned them to be witnesses to the ends of the earth they experienced failure and disappointments along the way.       

As the Church moves into more uncertain times, when the old ways of doing and being no longer are as effective we will need to try more new things, we will step out of our comfort zones and experiment. May the leaders encourage others to be risk takers, to embark on bold new adventures, to take the wheel and drive. In so doing may we all learn to trust in God’s Holy Spirit to lead us and guide. May those who take up these challenges be emboldened, and may this be the beginning of new and exciting adventures. May you experience the joy and excitement I did when tried something new in driving a truck and boat.

Thursday 26 June 2014

A Unique Conference Experience



I arrived in Montreal with trepidation. I had never been to an open space conference. What would it be like? How would it work? What were we going to talk about? Would anyone else be interested in the conversations I was interested in? As someone who likes details and concrete plans, this was a big step outside of my comfort zone. So what was it that drew me to Montreal? Collegiality, the hope of building relationships with colleagues my age, with those who are and will be leaders in the Anglican Church of Canada in the years to come. The opportunity to foster new relationships outweighed my anxieties.

My fears about open space disappeared quickly as I discovered that this format allowed for and fostered conversations about topics or issues we were interested in, or involved in, with others who were similarly interested. Conversations ranged from family life situations and how they intersect with ministry life, to deeper theological issues of meaning, to practical implications like faith formation and project ideas. Some conversations involved a few people and others larger numbers of participants. Every conversation I was involved with was respectful, regardless if we were coming at the issue from very different perspectives or not. Not one conversation I was part of was monopolizing or dominating by one or two people. I also like that we were free to walk away at anytime if we felt we weren’t adding to or receiving value from the conversation.

Probably for the first time in my church life I was not among the youngest in a room. In fact I was one of the oldest participants if not the oldest, having celebrated my 40th birthday between when the conference was announced and arriving in Montreal. Age though did not factor into most of the conversations I had, rather it was sharing experiences, joys, frustrations, hopes and laughter, lots of laughter. At times it was amazing for me to realize how closely someone else’s experience matched my own. It was incredibly heartening to know I am not the only one.   

If there is one word that summarizes the experience for me it would be “relationships.” Strengthening existing ones, building new ones and thinking about the relationships i want to foster with colleagues. This was really brought to the forefront for me in a conversation around generation gap, particularly with other clergy. Coming out of that conversation for me was the importance of building relationships between colleagues of all ages, relationships of mutual support and learning. The key to me is the mutual support that we as clergy are able to offer to one another. Many of us will find ourselves in solo ministries, which can be isolating. For our health and the health of the Church we need one another, to encourage, to resource share, and to challenge each other. I believe the more we can seek to build these types of relationships rather than competitive ones, the stronger, more creative and more fruitful our ministry will be, and in turn the Church as a whole will be strengthened.

This conference reinforced the importance of relationships with peers who are similar in age to me. As someone whose church life has been shaped by an aging congregation, followed by older classmates in seminary and whose ministry has in aging congregations, I sometimes forget how nice it is to talk to someone who has been shaped by similar cultural influences, even if we didn’t listen to the same type of music or watch the same TV programs. There is a moment of realization that you don’t need to explain all the cultural references. I treasure the relationships I made in Montreal as my Facebook Friends list exploded, and in the days since as I read their updates. As we move forward together in leadership in the Anglican Church of Canada these mutually supportive relationships will be essential.

As I listened to stories that were shared I became aware of how blessed I have been by some older clergy who, while treating as an equal also offered me mentoring, supportive relationships. These were older clergy who did not let their wealth of experience become something to lord over others, who bragged about battle scars, but who offered sage advice based on their experience and were also ready to learn from those younger and less experienced. Recognizing the blessing I have received from them I want to continue to seek out and grow from my relationships with older clergy. I also come away from this conversation with a new resolve to be intentional about building and offering these types of relationships to those who come after me.

Reflecting on the value of relationships in the days since I have returned home, I have realized that relationships and helping to build collegial relationships has been and is an important part of my ministry already, whether in deanery clericus or my Wednesday morning pastor’s prayer with community colleagues, or as a Fresh Start facilitator. I hope that one of the gifts I can offer to the wider church is to create and foster opportunities for clergy of all ages to have mutually supportive relationships.

As I return home and back to my regularly scheduled life and ministry after a wonderful time with colleagues from across the country, I am thankful for each of them, for their presence at this unique gathering, for the laughter and the tears we shared, for their stories that encourage and challenge me. I look forward to continuing to build mutually supportive and encouraging relationships with them in the future and with those who will come after me.